To Feel Guilty Or Not To Feel Guilty ...That Is The Question.

Several times over the last few weeks I have found myself involved in conversations with other mothers, or reading articles regarding guilt associated with Motherhood. What I found so interesting was that all mothers regardless of their circumstances felt guilty about their choices.

Guilt because they had to work, guilt because they chose to work, guilt because they weren't working, guilt because they felt they weren't doing enough as a mother, and guilt because they wanted to do something for themselves.

This got me thinking. Where does guilt come from? Is it a learned behavior? Is it part of our DNA as women? Is it imposed on us or self imposed? Does it just happen when we become mothers? I know that I will never know where it comes from. But I am thinking that I might be able to influence it for my children based on my behavior and choices.

It occurred to me that children don't feel guilty for the choices they make. They don't feel guilty about going to school, participating in after school activities, going to a friends house, having a friend over, or going to a sleep over. We actually encourage them to do it. These are the things that help our children become well round people. This is all part of character development.

So why as mothers do we feel guilty about those same things, the things that bring joy to our lives and allow us to continue to cultivate our character development. Why do we feel that by leaving these things behind it somehow makes us better Mothers? Our interests are the things that make us interesting and unique. Isn't it important that we continue to grow as people too? If children learn by example then what are we exemplifying? Would you consciously teach your children how to feel guilty about doing things that bring them joy if it means being apart from the family?

I have decided I am not going to teach that. I am going to participate in the things beyond my family that give me joy and feed my soul. I feed my body when it is hungry because I know that if I don't I will be cranky, irritable and have low energy. After eating I'm not cranky, irritable and my energy level is high. So I am proposing that by doing the things that feed our soul we in- turn are bringing joy, patience, peace and a sense of fulfillment to our families. Don't you agree you and your family are worth it? What feeds your soul?